Nothing comes of thinking, but I do have impulses to move. To go where no one knows me and maybe linger there. With new people or by myself or both. I don't know. Is it the fall air, at last arrived in Austin, that calls me away? Is it a day with a friend, pleasant enough, but by the end of the day, I don't want to talk with anyone anymore. I don't want to step into an already-known relationship.

Some trees, the longing for the color changes from my home state that I leave, again and again. But fall in love with at this time of year. It's a northern seduction, distracting you from the agony of the death of summer, the on-going winter, right around the corner that will linger and linger.

We don't have that here in Texas. I don't even really know where I am. It's cooler in my apartment right now than it has been in months. I want to put my pajamas on. I feel tired.

Will I someday . . . what? What goes on the end of that question, when turning back to see if there's even an I here to ask about?